What are you afraid of ?

“Today we step back and look at the enemy and he is us.” – Dan Kreutzer Samurai Business Group( see the end of this article for more information about Dan my mentor)  In this post we will look at the physiological responses and the emotional and psychological sides of what You are afraid of, as a small business owner.

Are You Afraid of Not Being Good Enough or Looking Bad in Business?

Many people are. I know that when I get truly afraid in business, it is because I am afraid of doing that thing that I have not become very good at doing, because I was afraid to try it in the beginning, fail, learn from my mistakes, and get better at it.  It is always that way.

I prefer to work alone, I always have, I believe I am more productive that way, but unfortunately, or fortunately for me I guess, you have to deal with all sorts of different people if you own a business. You could say I am a bit of an introvert, but business brings out the extrovert in me.

Whenever I get in front of a business prospect that I believe has a lot of power and influence in society, the following thing happens to me, especially if I sit too close to them at a table( I have astigmatism)

1. I get tunnel vision

2. I can’t focus on the subject being talked about

3. I feel as though I am not even in the room sometimes.

 

Has that ever happened to you?

Why does this physiological thing happen to me and you in these high pressure situations, or are they? Is it life and death? No, then why do You and I get so nervous?

For me, it is because of a mindset belief that I am not good enough, that I have to work through.  The good news is I know it, so I started dealing with it with my mentor about 5 years ago.

Many times people have told me I am too hard on myself and for the first time today, after working with my mentor, I think I know what they have been trying to say all these years.  I think that now that my parents have passed on I can see where this is coming from.

In my parents eyes I was never good enough. Now to their defense they were trying to make sure I was going to succeed .  But, in their eyes,or my perception of their beliefs, I always needed to be better.  Even when I got a 4.0 GPA in College one semester, my Father’s response was, “It was because my load was not hard like his was all through his college years.”  Nevermind the fact that I was PreMed.  It is silly that this still bugs me.

I bring this up not to whine and ask for sympathy, but to illustrate a point.  The point being that what you fear comes from unlearned things, from past encounters with people that have told you that you are not good enough, or these are the core beliefs and perceptions you have of yourself for another reason not covered here.

They are not real, and you can get rid of these beliefs, if you work hard to change your mindset.  Believe me, I know what it feels like to have fear in a sales and/or marketing situation.  But I am living proof it can be done if you work at it.

I once had an agency executive, for a large fast food chain,  tell me that he had never met anyone like me, that usually they eat their vendors for lunch and make them cry, but with me it felt very different, and I was in charge of the situation and he liked it that way.

Do you know what, despite my fear of not being good enough, I have never come out of a marketing meeting, where we were actually rolling up our sleeves and deciding what to do to increase sales, feeling like I did not know enough to be in the professional marketing and agency world.  There is no proof for my feelings and core beliefs, they are all in my head.  We call these “head trash”

Head Trash is when the kid inside you does not feel secure.  ”Leave the kid in the car when you talk to prospects.”

I work with some of the most brilliant marketers and sales professionals this world has ever seen, yet still my fear of not being good enough or looking bad produces physiological changes in my body.  It is weird when you look at it this way.

Adrenalin starts to rush through my body, my heart starts to race, and I actually get tunnel vision if I am sitting too close to a prospect that I believe has high societal power and influence.  This is all in my mind and I can change that and you can too if you are experiencing the same or similar feelings that I am describing here in your sales situations.

Tune in to our next post to see Part II of this post to see how.

 

I’d like to thank the Samurai Business Group for portions of the content from this post.  Dan kreutzer is my mentor there:

Dan Kreutzer is a Founding Partner of Samurai Business Group, a business development consulting and training company specializing in sales and sales management.  The company provides programs in prospect generation, consultative selling, sales process, inside sales, customer service, sales management, sales organization, sales coaching, and identifying and hiring producers.  He is the published author of “Put the WIN Back in Your SALES” and “Buyer Process Management”.  His new book on sales management will be available in 2013.  He can be reached at 312-863-8580 or d.kreutzer@samuraibizgrp.com or visit www.samuraibizgrp.com.  

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