Part of it is because of the pressure society puts on you as a person. “What do you do for a living?” Oh how I hate that question as an entrepreneur! What I want to say is I do Everything! But, then you get those weird stares.
People at a party seem to have this fascination for roles people play in society rather than the kind of person they are. I have started to describe myself the following way now that I am in this business and it is feeling pretty good:
“I am a good person that loves to help other people succeed.” That is who I am.
My Role: COO of a Fortune 1000 small, marketing agency and owner of several Internet Marketing Businesses – That is my role. That is what society values.
Never put a value on your role in society. That is not who you are. This is how people put too much value on their roles and then when they lose them because of a tragedy they are devastated. Look at how stock brokers behaved in 2008. Some shot themselves and others simply said, it’s only money I’ll make more. The ones that shot themselves put too much value in the role they played in society instead of who they were as a person.
What is your self-image, because that can play a lot of mind games with you if you place your value, based on what society values rather than what you value.
My new self-image is:
I am helping 1000 people around the world get to $1,000,000/month income, by the time I reach retirement or better…That’s it Period! I think David Wood hypnotized me! Just kidding Dave! No really, I used to love to watch TV and now I can’t turn it on without feeling terrible, so I turn it off as soon as I see what the market is doing, since I work with publically traded companies.
Your core beliefs can shape who you are and how you perform in your roles that society places value on. Example you can have good beliefs and bad beliefs about who you are as a person:
Good Belief: I am worthy of speaking to the COO or CFO of any Fortune 1000 company
Bad Belief: I will not be good enough to speak to the COO or CFO of a Fortune 1000 company? See the difference. What you believe you can achieve. “If you think you can or you think you can’t you’re right” – Henry Ford
It would be much healthier as a person, and as a business person, if I had the following belief:
“I am a good person.” “I like helping people achieve what success means to them.”
“I am busting through obstacles and growing as a person every day.”
One way to do that is by taking action steps to prove to myself that I am worthy of talking to this person about their situations. One thing you know for sure. People will not be talking to you, unless they thought you could do something for them. Use that as a way to feel better about yourself if you get nervous or anxious. That is your ACE in the hole so to speak.
I need to prove to myself that I can help COO’s and CFO’s of Fortune 1000 companies by closing more deals that help them.
I need to make a list and start getting certified as a preferred vendor for my target audience.
I need to form a Ning group or a Google Hangout of my agents and get them involved in the video production through these Google Hangouts.
Core Beliefs are hard to change. Normally Fear in a sales and marketing situation stems from a core belief that you are not good enough or smart enough to be talking to this person. You fear that somehow you will not be good enough or measure up to their standards. You think that you have to know everything there is to know about your subject or you are not prepared. Hogwash! You know plenty or you would never get the appointment to talk to that person in the first place. That is how you combat this fear that sometimes paralyzes you and prevents you from succeeding.
To help you get over your fear you need to have a strong enough WHY?
I know for myself, I need to close my 24 million dollar deal. That is my goal.
But first I need to get to my first goal that I have had since 2005, $20K/month when I do for three months in a row, I will believe I can provide her the lifestyle she deserves and then I will propose to Stephanie, the love of my life, in a very special place( I can’t tell all my secrets)
After I hit that goal my fears will be eased, because I have shown scientific proof to myself, my worst critic, that I am good enough to be in business for myself, and that my parents were wrong about me not being good enough.
Then it is time to get afraid again, and stretch myself outside my comfort zone so that I grow as a person. That is the secret to success. Stretch yourself to become the better version of yourself, getting better results. My next goal is:
$50K/month – Then I buy Stephanie that horse-breeding farm and never have to worry about money ever again. I can live on $3,000,000(remember the government gets 1/2)
Then it is time to get uncomfortable again, and stretch myself to the newer version of myself with better results. My next goal is:
$100K/month and then:
$1million/month – Then I will be able to do what I want with whom I want any time I want until I die. $6,000,000/year.
My final life Goal is helping 1000 people get to $1,ooo,ooo /month by the time I retire or better. That’s it Period!
But along the way you will make mistakes and you may not achieve what your goals are. In fact you may make no money in this business. For average earnings in this business go to our Income Disclosure Here
Fear of The Sales Process in your Business
If you are talking to a prospect and you find yourself afraid try some of the following things to get you back into the moment:
Turn it around on him or her ,so they get back into their conversation #2 and you get back to conversation #3 inside their head, so you know whether you can help them or not.
Conversation #1 You Prospect
Conversation #2 YouYou inside your head. A terrible place to be when you are trying to help someone. It is not about you, it is about them.
Conversation #3 ProspectProspect inside the prospects mind, where you find out the consequences of their behaviors that effect them. Then you find compelling reasons rather than apparent reasons like “I want to make a lot of money now” Find out what that money will do for them. Ultimately everyone wants to be loved and feel secure.
Remember in the beginning of the conversation you will be dealing with the role of the person you are dealing with, not the actual person, and they will throw out apparent reasons(because they think they are supposed to be in a role) try to get to the actual person by asking questions that talk about the consequences of their actions if things do not change.
Break The Script that they sometimes go into as a prospect and ask to speak to the human by asking questions that only the human can answer. This psychologically drops them back into conversation #3
Relax. Let them figure it out.
Acknowledge what they said……and ask them a question and their conditioning will kick in and they will answer it. Turn it around on them if they go into prospect mode, especially “evil prospect mode.” Keep it very conversational and relaxed. You take on a role of detective trying to help them figure out where all the skeletons( their problems that have dire consequences for them) are buried.
Remember, The more defensive you get the more the blood is in the water they smell, and then “the sharks start to feed.” You can witness this phenomenon, by watching the TV show The Shark Tank. I love that show! As soon as the person pitching their idea shows any sign of being defensive in the least bit, all five of these venture capitalist or angle investor sharks attack, ripping to shreds their ideas, and then you hear those fatal words, “and I’m Out,” from each of the Angel Investors on the show.
Instead of reacting to their statements the people presenting would be better off saying, “Obviously you are telling me that for a reason.” What is it? or, What does that situation look like? How would that effect you if we were in business together?” Hypotheticals are always good to bring the compelling reasons (the consequences to them as a person) to the surface. Find these reasons people are doing something and you will find a way to make a sale, if you truly can help them.
Fear is your biggest enemy
Never answer a question until you understand where that is coming from in their mind if at all possible and never answer a statement.
Now you have to be gentle about it in a nurturing parent kind of manner. You can say, “Which means?” Or, I am happy to answer that, but before I do…help me understand where that is coming from because it can mean different things to different people etc. etc. There are lots of ways to handle different situations you run into in business that strike fear in you and I.
Today we step back and look at the enemy and he is us.
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If you have a complex business sales situation you’d like help with talk to Dan Kreutzer
Dan Kreutzer is a Founding Partner of Samurai Business Group, a business development consulting and training company specializing in sales and sales management. The company provides programs in prospect generation, consultative selling, sales process, inside sales, customer service, sales management, sales organization, sales coaching, and identifying and hiring producers. He is the published author of “Put the WIN Back in Your SALES” and “Buyer Process Management”. His new book on sales management will be available in 2013. He can be reached at 312-863-8580 or email@example.com or visit www.samuraibizgrp.com.